Monday, 26 October 2009

  • A Veritable Shitstorm Approacheth

       No, I'm not back for good. I'm merely here to post up some quick up-to-date factoids to those who, for some voyeuristic reason, still give a shit about my whereabouts. You people, scare me. Seriously, you do.

       But what scares me more is coming back here from time-to-time, only to see just how deeply self-contained this place has become. I peruse the pages, and the colour that comes to my mind is white. Not just any white; sterile white. That's the best word I can use to describe Xanga: Sterile. Xanga is a safe haven for those with no ingenuity, no independent attitude; no desire to grow and advance.

       Xanga is interesting because it serves as an example of the lengths people will go to, to make money. So far as to even create a self-contained bubble; one from which nothing can escape, but plenty can enter. I think of that movie: "Blast From The Past"; or various "lock-in" jokes from various sitcoms. You know, where people are locked into a claustrophobic setting; someone opens the door; then it shuts behind them. The kind of delerious irony that makes most chuckle--but in the case of Xanga: it makes me weep.

       A lot of you here have genuine talent; and it seems more like you're wasting it on this site. Then again: Xanga serves as nothing more than an online personal diary; so I guess I shouldn't give as much of a shit about where you fuckers end up. And honestly, I really don't.

       I could count on one hand the number of people here who have left; and I still want to keep in touch with them, and still not use all my fingers. Except one special one. Maybe.

       Ah, but here I go digressing from what I really wanted to talk about. See, I've given you the delusion that this entry is in any way about you sodding twats. Rather, I'm only here to remind you all that I do exist, and I am still a surly cuntwipe. It also gives me the chance to whip my massive egocock out; stroke it a few times over your heads; and unleash my torrents of narcisisstic vitriol all over your naive faces. Essentially, I'm just being a prick for the sake of being a prick. But you knew that already, didn't you? Sneaky tits.

       I've recently started and cancelled a webshow due to the ravings of power-hungry trolls. I was also a writer and editor of a fledging gaming site; but that fell due to the aforementioned trolls. Apparently, I'm racist for mocking someone's supposed "Chinese little brother", but other parties are not racist for referring to my girlfriend as a "Mail-order bride". As if I haven't heard THAT one enough already. For the record, Ritz, please don't get upset. Remember that the words of the ignorant and bigoted have no effect nor power over those with larger minds.

       Me and Ritz have been dating for over a year now (13 months as of this month). It's been rocky for us, but we have plans set in motion to meet, and be together next year. The finality that will bring us together is something we'd like to discuss with some of our closest friends, when the time is right. For the rest of you relationship perverts: you'll hear about it (inevitably) when that time comes (Ie much, MUCH later).
       Ritz is much more than I can put into words. A hell of a lot more than I can ever write about in some insipid blog; or even put to song (but you know damn well I'm going to try). It's amazing how, despite her vulnerabilities, she continuously can bounce back from things; and carry on with her love and affection for me. It's her uncanny, unrelenting passion for things that amazes me the most. Whatever it may be, if something strikes Ritz's fancy; and heart, she'll pour herself into it, as if her very life depended on it.
       Me and Ritz have come a long, long way since we started out. We've both learned a lot about ourselves, and how we interact with each other. We've been learning our limits, and how to surpass them. But most importantly: We've learned what real love is like; and what lengths one must be willing to go to, to obtain that love. Oh, nothing crazy like selling one's soul to some ficticious maelevolent deity. Simply...: What one must be willing to endure, to truly find happiness and love.

       You can't imagine how deeply I miss her, when she's not around. Nor can you imagine how badly I need her by my side (physically). It's the thought of being with her that keeps me going; and go I shall.

       In other news (seeing as it's near impossible to adequately segue out of talking about my love): I've gotten back into gaming (somewhat), and can be found on my PS3 by adding the PSN ID: Axikal . My current online game library consists of: Resistance 2, Call Of Duty 4: Modern Warfare (I avoid this as often as I can, though), Uncharted 2: Among Thieves, and Metal Gear Online.
       Personally, I hate the online community; and loathe most of the people I come in contact with. Don't friend me if you're not prepared to hear endless strings of: "Oh go fuck off you prattish little n00bfucks!". I can assure you that you will hear something to that effect at least ONCE per game.

       Oh, and before I go, I'd like to address all of you who have been sending mass messages: You know what? We get it. People don't like mass messages. People cringe when they read the words: "sent to ___'s Friends / Subscribers" in the footer of each message. Stop starting your fucking messages with "Oh I noes you no likey da mass messages, I r not care lololololol". Shut the fuck up.
       None of you are witty, clever, or fucking edgy. You're trying to hard to elicit a laugh in order to detract from the fact that you mass sent a form letter to people you don't give two shits about; trying to get them to read your latest piece of drivel; or point them to some insipid event that is hosted by two French people with fucking Downs Syndrome.
       It's people like you that made me want to leave this bottomless void of unoriginality in the first goddamn place. 
    Piss off already. Your level of wit is on par with the likes of Dane Cook, and Carlos Mencia. And it's disgusting. And you're cluttering up my dusty inbox with your unpleasant fetterings. Cunts.

       I guess that's all for now. I'm off to continue my Fraiser marathon (thanks to the wonderful people at tvshack.net!), and await the phonecall that will determine if I am taking up a second job or not. Oh, and I also own a 60" TV now. Suck on that, you pricks.

Thursday, 06 August 2009

  • Learned

       With every fight comes something new
       A lesson learned betwixt us two
       In the end it is certainly true
       All I need is to be here with you

       Your smile shines brightly inside my mind
       I hear your voice on the winds at night
       That slender caress that lulls me asleep
       Into the slumber of images deep

       It can never be easy; so please be brave
       I know that you're aching for what you crave
       Count the digits down; moments to dissave
       Placing pains of the past into their individual grave

       I wonder if you can smile
       Or see me in your mind

Wednesday, 05 August 2009

  • The Amazing Story: A Tale Of True

       I know you're down there, admiring me. I see the way you look up, gleaning the patriotism off of the flag wrapped around my body. It's amazing, I know. I sewed it myself from the skins of my enemies. Nevermind the bullet holes, I just sprayed and prayed, so there's a little tear here and there. 

       You see, I'm an all-"American"-hero kind of guy. I rush into burning buildings to save orphans, while shooting opium dealers at the exact same time. The two ARE connected, trust me. I have teeth whiter than the clouds in Heaven, and when I smile, they shine in just the right spot; creating a beautiful lens flare that'd make Bay piss himself. 

       But really, I'm all about myself. 

       You see, I'm the kind of guy who gets collaterals every time I shoot my enemy. And I'm not talking about some pansy-ass 2-fer. Hell no. See, I'm a god in my own right. I get 9. That's right. 9 collateral kills with one bullet. You wish you had that kind of Omniscient ability. 

       Not only that, but I rule the forums of my realm with an iron fist of pure Godliness. There is no one safe from my scorn, my sword, nor my rapier wit. I wield a banhammer worthy of making Thor himself greener than a fresh new W@W player. I am, the all-"American"-hero. 

       I shit hamburgers, and vomit up hot dogs. Because I'm that damn amazing. And that damn American. 

       Lag does not affect me, and is merely the by-product of a psychologically distressed mind. I've tried to tell my peons this, but they ignore my golden words. The poor flocks bleat their abuses, while I do my very best to confirm to them that the lag is nothing more than in their heads. Lag, is not real. It really isn't. Really. For real. Not real. 

       For you see, this flag, is not just a flag, it's my high school's banner too. And I graduate in 2020

Tuesday, 04 August 2009

  • I Want Children

       This year, I turned 24. In those 24 years of life, I've come to many conclusions about many aspects regarding who I am, and what I believe in. Nothing, and I do mean nothing, comes to me as strongly as my desire to be a father.

       Granted, this statement may come as a surprise to many, if anything because of my horrible lack of patience. But, spending a lifetime watching television, movies, and just seeing how happy me and my siblings have made my parents? It really makes me think hard about wanting to be in their position myself.
       I don't remember the first time I really wanted to have a child. Nor do I remember what triggered it. I would love to wax poetic over walking into a friend/relative's room, and holding a beautiful newborn in my arms. My heart-strings ever so gracefully (and clichédly) tugged. That coo and smile as the baby grabbed at my index finger. My heart then melting as the little tyke fell asleep in my arms.

       No. It was much simpler than that for me. I want children. I want to have children because of the joy they bring to people's lives. Having a child will give me the ultimate opportunity: to share my knowledge and wisdom with a clean slate. Someone who is open and willing to the world.
       It gives me the chance to help someone grow up. To learn to enjoy the world as it is; and to teach them how the world works.

       Not only that, but I've seen the look in children's eyes when they talk about their parents. Or look at their parents. When I see that, it does make my heart melt. That glisten in their eyes. That innocent smile. Everything lights up in their face, and their very expression just gloats: You are my father. I love you.
       And it's those things that make me want children. That feeling of pride in knowing not only did I bring someone into this world, but that I've helped them grow up. Mature. Develop. Learn.

       I still remember that for the longest time, I could not watch sitcoms on television. Shows like Home Improvement made me sad, because I had neither a loving, doting wife; nor children of my own. I couldn't come home to the sounds of "DADDY!", and catch my little boy and/or girl in my arms as my wife came up to give me a kiss. No home of my own--clean and paid off. No white picket fence.
       Many men my age (or men in general) fear these things. But I've wanted them for the longest time.

       And I yearn for the day when the word "Daddy!" will ring in my ears. Spoken by two beautiful children. 

       I know that I'll not be a STRICT father, but I will be a disciplinarian to a degree. 
       I will never spoil my children like they do on television shows. They will never want, but they will never be greedy. They will grow up learning about the value of money, and the smartest ways to earn it.
       I will not be the most accepting father when it comes to my daughter (luck if I have one), in regards to dating. Unfortunately, it's in my blood. I'm ridiculously protective of my sister, and I know that's going to increase ten-fold with a daughter of my own. But at the same time, I know I'll not keep her from dating (until she's 18) whom she wants (save for serial killers and paedophiles).
       I'll never force my religious beliefs on my children. They will grow up with options, with knowledge OF those options.
       I'll always encourage their dreams. Even if I don't agree with them.

       I know being a parent will take patience, sacrifice, and effort. But I know that right now, and in the future, I'm more than up for the task. If only because I want to see that look that other parents get. That proud look. The one that says: You are my daddy. And I love you.

       Someday...

Friday, 31 July 2009

  • FML

       "Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML" - User On FMylife.com
    ---------   

       Honestly? Funniest thing, I've ever read.

Tuesday, 28 July 2009

  • A Letter To Michael Vick

       Dear Mike,

       I went to my parents' house today, and picked up my local newspaper. On the front page of the Sports section, I saw your face staring back at me. I was intrigued, if anything because you've fallen under the radar (and I had hoped into a gutter somewhere), and read on. The headline read that you were being re-instated into the NFL's fold.
       I, of course, did a double take.

       It seems that you've gone and apologised. You've stated profusely that you're going to turn over a new leaf. I read your words; words that described how horrible you felt over what you had done. How you were on your way to turning yourself into a positive role model.
       With every word of yours, my stomach turned. With every "second chance" the commissioner was giving you, my heart sank. The response to your statements was said to be "mixed"; with some in support and others in defiance.

       Allow me to join the defiant ones in refusing to accept your apology.

       Nothing you can do nor say can alter what you've done. Your apologies cannot bring back those dogs you and your friends had killed. Your words cannot take away the pain they felt, being forced into a ring to kill one another. They cannot exonerate you for the inhumane way you behaved. Nor is it possible to believe in you, if it was so easy to do it once before.

       Whenever I read your apologies, I can only find myself imagining those dogs. I see them in their cages: bloody and tired. Some half-starved; others near death. Their belaboured whimpers as the door opens, and the light from the room beyond cascades around them. I can only imagine the look in their eyes as they're led back to that bloodied mound... where many had gone to simply die a horrible death.
       Call it sensationalism. Call it emotional hyperbole. It's not. What you and those...
    cronies put those animals through defies every convention of humanistic behaviour. To call you a human... to call you ANYTHING is to demean that very adjective being used to describe you. From the top of the food chain, to the lowest protozoa... you do not register on any of those scales.

       Vick, what you perpetrated a year or more ago... it's not something so easily forgivable. And for the NFL to take you back so soon... I've lost faith in the people running it. I applaud those who refuse to sign you to their teams. To me, they epitomise how people should be viewing you. You have a LONG time before anyone should forget or forgive you for what you did.

       But I, could never forgive you.

       When you sleep at night, do you see their eyes? Hear their cries? Their screams? The yelping of pain?
       Do you still smell that coppery stench? The dessecation? I sure hope so. And I hope that the consequences of your actions follow you to the end of this life; and well into the next.

       Some like to throw around the phrase "too soon". I agree. It's too soon to see you back, doing anything other than sitting... and contemplating the very horrors you perpetrated. And the lives you sacrificed for your selfish gains.

       Sincerely,

       Me

Monday, 27 July 2009

Friday, 24 July 2009

  • Do Not Support HardestLevel

       So, some of you are curious about why I'm telling you all to pull your support of HL. Well, recently (last week), I was officially banned from being Featured on HL because I raised issue with their formatting. As you all are aware, I format my entries to be literally correct. I use proper indentation and paragraphing (as can be used on a blog), and I use text formatting (italics) to emphasise certain words, or highlight quotes.
       These are JOURNALISTICALLY CORRECT things to do. However, HardestLevel has refused to take my critiques into practise, and immediately removed my entry. Need I remind anyone that there was a HUGE debacle not long ago in which HardestLevel was practically FORCED into putting other people onto Featured, other than their Fascistic "editor" Awinnerisyou.

       Need I ALSO remind anyone that it was ruled that the current editorial methods were INCORRECT AND INVALID?! No, I do not. Not to any of you who are intelligent enough to remember that. I've stated before that the "editors" on the Xister sites have more power than real editors have. They do not discuss with their authors any changes that need to be made, or are being considered to be added.
       I was NEVER told my entry did not meet a "visual preference", and my entry was, again, butchered in its format. Once again, MY work, was written in the pisspoor style of one "Joe". After reading more into things, I discovered that "Joe" is Awinnerisyou. 

       So wait, the very guy who was told by John of Xanga to change his shit, to listen to the community, to stop editing posts to HIS STANDARD... IS STILL DOING IT!? WHAT?! At this point, having re-read the messages sent betwixt me and "Joe", and seeing his attitude on compromise...I won't be satisfied with just a revamping of the way Featured is run on the Xister sites.
       I want Joe to be let go. He has no communicatory skills, no expertise in editing, and no idea what he's doing. He was told how to act, how to approach, and he went against EVERYTHING in order to mold HL into whatever the fuck he wants it to be.

       I said "ENOUGH!" last time. I shouted. I screamed. I was a raging asshole to everyone in my path. Not this time. No, this time I've aimed my sights on you, "Joe". You went against ALL agreements. You acted out of selfish desire, and you put no thought towards your position, or the community. You expect us to conform to your style, which is NOT WHAT AN EDITOR DOES. An editor is required to go over a submitted work; edit grammatical errors, and re-submit the edited work back to the author for approval.
       NO PUBLISHING IS EVER DONE WITHOUT FULL CONSENT OF THE ORIGINAL AUTHOR OF ANY CHANGES MADE. NONE! NEVER! THAT'S NOT HOW IT FUCKING WORKS!

       I've had enough of this. It was bad before, when there were no actual rules about this. But we went through HELL and a major shitstorm from MANY XANGANS about this issue. And he has the nerve, the GALL to continue to pull this shit?!
       I'm calling for Joe's position to be open to a member of the Xanga community. I don't care whom, as long as they have been here longer than 2 years; understands how the community runs; can show an unbiased opinion when needed; and has ACTUAL EDITORIAL SKILLS. I'm sick of seeing "interns" running our community like this. It's appalling. It's disgraceful. And I won't be represented by these people.

       And yes, I called "Joe" a fascist. Because that's exactly what fascism is. I'll give you a few pieces of what Fascism entails. And while HL isn't necessarily a "government", the "Editor" right now is the "governing body" of HL. Ergo, the following has more pretext: "Fascist governments forbid and suppress criticism and opposition to the government and the fascist movement"
       Gee, when I criticised him firstly, I was blocked, banned, and verboten to do anything other than muddle on my own HL account. When I did it again, I was VERBOTEN to ever be Featured again; all because I opposed his views on how the site should look.
       "Fascism is much defined by what it opposes, what scholars call the fascist negations - its opposition to individualism". I complained that my post's formatting was uniform, and sounded nothing like me. I was denied, ignored, and banned. I will repeat that an EDITOR cannot, under any circumstances, alter the format of a submission without express permission from the original author that the changes are valid, and acceptable. EVER. 

       But that's exactly what happened to me.

       Not only am I asking for a change in Xister Featured Structure, and Joe's "retirement", but that my "banning" from being Featured be removed. I was unjustly banned. Yes, I became angry later on in the discussion, because of all the aforementioned issues. Because we've been through this, and he hasn't learned a goddamn thing. He feels that he can do as he please, and piss on you and me. We mean nothing.
       Nevermind the fact that had me and some key Xangans not raised HELL (and had I not complained initially about the lack of diverse Featured content), that HardestLevel would STILL be Featuring the SHIT out of Awinnerisyou. There'd be no users, no comments; and no one would care. Much like they did before changes were made.

       And guess who are the people who DEMANDED those changes? Me, SimbaThe2nd, AnamcharaConcepts, Fairywife, and others! It took US to get things to change. Joe did NOTHING on his own. The "success" of HL right now can only be attributed to those of us who spoke out against his reprehensible behaviour. He's proven to be an utterly INEPT editor and site owner. He needs to be taken off the site IMMEDIATELY, and replaced with someone competant.
       He has shown that he refuses to adapt, and learn. He wants it his way, or no way. And you can see this from his responses to my messages. Note that I started out friendly, and as time passed, I became irate. 
       I find it disheartening that I have to become a JERK to get any response from anyone. I'm NOT a jerk; and I don't care much for being one to get things done. I wanted a civil, ACTUAL compromise; and even offered to give some concessions to HL to keep my formatting right. AND I WAS NOT LISTENED TO.

       Below is the conversation between me and "Joe". Note that at the end, he tacks on the "Head Editor" name to his, in a transparent effort to be "above" me, and assert superiourity.

       You're no editor. You're a selfish jerk. A n00b. And unworthy of the position you have.

       When you're done reading, please go to http://www.xanga.com/ideas/1410/properfeaturedlinking.html and vote on this Idea. Thank you.
    --------------------------------
    From HardestLevel.com To Me:

    Hello,

    We just wanted to let you know that your post is now live on hardestlevel.com.

    Here's the link to your post:
    http://www.hardestlevel.com/706751653/hr-231-poised-to-label-games-to-death/

    Thanks again for allowing us to publish your post!

    The hardestlevel team
    -7/8/09


    From Me To HardestLevel.com:

    Cool! Uhm, I think when I submitted it, the site garbled up the post. It was meant to look like it does on here. I noticed that this happens too on Xanga.com. 

    http://zeus.hardestlevel.com/706418254/hr-231-poised-to-label-games-to-death/ 

    Could you please edit this?
    -Sent 7/9/09


    From Me To HardestLevel.com:

    Hey, just letting you know that the post submission page messed up the format of my H.R. 231 Bill post. The original format is on my website. I'm asking that you please change the Featured post over to the proper format. 

    Also, I submitted a new post for review for Featured, but the original posting (the one with "" around the title) got screwed up in the submission process. The one I was hoping to see up is the one with the proper formatting and pictures within the post. 

    I'm not sure what's up with the Submission Page. It's been acting weird on every site.
    -Sent 7/10/09


    From Me To HardestLevel.com:

    Okay, it's been a few days since my initial message. I was under the impression this was a "new era" for this site, but I'm really not seeing much of a change. At the very least, a message of acknowledgment that you read my message would be respectful. 

    The format of my post was not correct as per a mistake on the submission page. Please re-review the entry on my HL account site, and change the featured article as per posted. If not, then remove my post from the front page. 

    I really don't want to have to go into ANOTHER series of issues over something that can simply be solved civilly. I'm giving the benefit of the doubt because of the nature of the issue, but I've only so much patience. 

    You also have me blocked on your personal site; and not only that, I had to get on John's case just to be unblocked on this site to begin with. You were told to "play nicely", I expect you to do so. 

    I'm trying to be nice, but patience wears extremely thin. I'm not letting this go.
    -Sent: 7/12/09


    From HardestLevel To Me:

    Dear Sir, 

    If you are referring to the bold text and indents of the paragraphs, then I believe I understand why you are referring to the format as "not correct". Other than that, I am truly unaware of any significant format changes. 

    I will revisit HardestLevel later tonight, and I believe I will remove the post because it does not meet your standards. We do not use bold or indented text, and that is our visual preference. While I wouldn't go as far as to say this much is non-negotiable, I would much prefer to keep a uniform visual format for all posts. 

    Thus, I'm sorry if we are unable to reach a consensus on this and sorry for the late reply. 

    -- Joe
    -Sent 7/13/09


    From Me To HardestLevel.com:

    I don't mind the italicized or bold edits. But the paragraphing is definitely all wrong (ie, there's none where it needs to be). 

    I was also not informed of a new staff on HL's site. Is there a more effective way of reaching staff in regards to issues? I'm hoping there is a streamlined approach now as opposed to how the site was run prior to the "incident". 

    I would speak to John about the issue of formatting, as he was directly involved in the process. Though I must say I do like the left-justified approach.
    -Sent 7/14/09


    From Me To HardestLevel.com:

    Apparently it IS non-negotiable, seeing as you went and deleted my work without my consent, or any further dialogue. You have NO etiquette when dealing with an issue and as such, I'm removing my support of this fascistic site. 

    Your 'visual format' is a Wall Of Text monstrosity, and illiterate. I shall do everything in my power to discourage use of your site. I will not be abused, misrepresented, or neglected. 

    I WILL be talking to your boss. 

    This slight will NOT go unpunished.
    -Sent 7/17/09


    From HardestLevel.com To Me:

    Sir, 

    I indicated previously I had the intention of removing your post from the main page, as you yourself asked. As written: "I will revisit HardestLevel later tonight, and I believe I will remove the post because it does not meet your standards. We do not use bold or indented text, and that is our visual preference. While I wouldn't go as far as to say this much is non-negotiable, I would much prefer to keep a uniform visual format for all posts." 

    So, there was fair warning and your post is merely set to private; it is not deleted. 

    Moreover, I must say, I feel your characterizations of me are way off base. I have replied to your messages with tact and with reasonable timeliness. The idea that I or this site is "fascist" is erroneous and misconstrues the very definition of the word. 

    Please continue to enjoy (or don't enjoy) the site, but I think it is fair to say we will not be using your submissions in the future. 

    -- Joe, HardestLevel Head Editor


    From Me To HardestLevel.com:

    I'd rather you not. You've shown no respect for what I write; and insist on forcing me to conform to a visual style that is poor, and literarily incorrect. I'd rather not be represented by horrendous editors. 

    You opened no doors for communication; despite saying that the topic was not "non-negotiable". Rest assured I will be taking this up with John. Your handling of this situation was childish, and went against everything agreed upon by myself, John, and Awinnerisyou. 

    I'm assuming you're NEW here, but maybe you didn't get the memo that editing other's formats was ruled WRONG by John. And that the editorial process was being changed to better promote the USERS, not the editors. 

    By forcing US to conform to YOUR visual style, you're being fascist. And no, your response was NOT timely. It took WEEKS to hear back from you. And when I did, you'd made a decision without consulting me. That was not a part of the agreement made between me, the users, and HardestLevel; and was touched upon by the very OWNER OF THIS SITE. 

    So please, don't use my entries; because I'd rather not be represented by someone with no understanding of how to format an article. 

    But I'm sure you'll content yourself with the vacuous entries being featured. Which is why HL is never going to amount to much under the rule and law of such horrendous staff. 

    Ta.
    -Sent 7/20/09

    -------
       http://www.xanga.com/ideas/1410/properfeaturedlinking.html

       Great news! We've got 68 supporters for this idea, and only 4 opposers. Please note that the idea isn't so much linked to this entry; so if you agree with the idea, it doesn't necessarily mean you agree with my entry.
       I hope the idea provides us with a more USER-oriented Featured system; rather than this self-absorbed egotrip for the editorial staff.

       After all: Without us, they have no jobs.

Monday, 20 July 2009

  • Happy 22nd Baby

       There's a reason why I can smile every day. Why even getting up at 4am doesn't bother me as much as I know it would. A reason why even when I'm tired, aching, and unhappy by the end of the day... I can still be as optimistic as I ever could be.
       And that reason is my girlfriend, Ritz Hugo (Christian).

       I regret not talking more about the woman who has changed so much in my life. But I've done so, partly because we've had our issues that we wanted to handle like adults; without the interventions of others who have no idea what's going on in our relationship. Also... partly because I've grown weary of letting the world in on every detail of my life. But mostly... because there are a lot of times where I just want her all to myself. 
       And this is because there has never been a woman in my life that could parallel my girlfriend.

       Ritz is (now) 22 years old, and in those 22 years, she's earned a Bachelor's in Business Management; held a successful job in a Real Estate Building company; works in the claims department of IBM; and was also promoted to the position of Team Leader only three months being with the company!
       She has a stunning IQ of 176; and no other woman I've ever dated could match that number. Despite not being a native of this country, Ritz's grasp of the English language is superiour to that of the women I've dated; and even surpasses that of many of the people I associate with. Her stubbornness for proper grammar and spelling attracts me so much--especially considering I'm used to dating LOLTXTSPKROFLMAO.

       My girlfriend is not only book smart, but working on her "street smarts". She loves to learn about new things; and is eager to incorporate every last nugget of knowledge that finds its way to her. Her eagerness to educate herself is a quality that is so rare in anyone these days; and few really project this the way that my girlfriend does. Sure, she can be stubborn sometimes; but in the end, she's always willing to absorb new things; be them new vocabulary (words, phrases, et al.), artists (musical, painting, et al.), languages, and so much more.
       Not only that, but she's TRI-lingual. That's right, Ritz can speak Tagalog (her native tongue), English (her second language; and MY native tongue), and Japanese. I'm attracted to a woman who can speak more than one language, and Ritz ko can speak THREE!
       Among her many talents, is the ability to speed-solve a Rubik's Cube; a feat I've never accomplished (solving one). If you ever want to see it, just ask her. She's always so proud of her ability to beat that evil cube; and when she's done, she'll sit there with the cutest expression of victory you'll ever see.
       Ritz ko is also a talented vocalist and guitarist. Her voice is so light, and sweet; and when she sings to me, I can't help but smile and listen. It's a soothing sound, and on more than one occasion almost lulled me to sleep when I was tired from work. I love the sound of her voice; and the sound of her fingers sliding along the strings...

       My girlfriend is also a loving, doting woman. I've never met a woman so loyal and caring like her. One moment that has stood with me for the longest time happened a few months into our relationship. Ritz had to be admitted to the hospital due to a panic attack, followed by passing out. When she came to in the hospital; she begged to talk to me immediately (her first words awake being: Where's Scott?).
       I was staying awake (around 9pm EST US) so I could be sure she was okay, when her mother put her on AIM. Ritz's first words to me (and I'll never stop grinning whenever I think of this) were: "Baby... why are you still up? You have work tomorrow..."

       Ritz's love and dedication to her family and friends is simply just astounding to me. She does everything she can to express her love for the people around her; even when times are troubling, and rough. Though she claims to be a cynicist... I know better. Deep down in that cute little chest of hers, there beats the sweetest heart to have ever existed. There's so much love in my girlfriend, that I suspect one day I'll wake up, and the whole world will resemble one of those silly little picture books: 
       Brightly coloured, and filled with smiliing suns; and more anthropomorphised objects.

       That is my girlfriend. An intelligent, charming, loving, and stunningly beautiful woman.

       My girlfriend trumps my exes in so many areas, and easily noticable are her looks. While Jill had a pretty face, but an average body; Dina was... a linebacker; and Jess had a nice body but average face... but Ritz...? Ritz is beautiful all over. Her eyes have a beautiful Egyptian curl to them; and the colour of her irises is so captivating. Her face is so small, round, and cute; with squishable cheeks... which brings me to the most noticable feature of my girlfriend (aside from her amazing breasts):
       Her smile.

       Ritz's smile is the kind that could light an entire apartment block. An infectuous curl of the lips that has yet to make one person not at the least chuckle. It is the most beautiful smile I have ever seen in my lifetime. And every day that I see her, I hope to see that smile; and that the smile is directed at me.
       I could go into the amazing pair of breasts my woman has; or the stunning little butt she has as well... but those details are for myself to go over in my own little time

       Everything about my girlfriend makes me love her so much more. Her anger, her passion, her happiness, her sadness; the little insecurities that has caused us to clash every now and then (exacerbated by my hard-headedness, and occasional lapse in judgment); the occasional need for closeness and attention (think Navi from Ocarina Of Time... only cute, loveable, and so not annoying as hell); and of course, her innocent attitude.
       Yes, I love the child-like demeanor that my girlfriend displays. The butterflies, the pixies, the rainbows, the confetti. Even the way she talks like a baby sometimes when we're being sickeningly cute to each other. It never gets old.

       And one of the greatest things about my girlfriend: is how much she's grown up since we started dating. Her willingness to work on herself as I work on myself fills me with a happiness I've never known. Her staunch support of me in my struggles with myself; and my issues... is something I've only known from my parents. It makes things so much easier, knowing that she's there to support and love me. And that in spite of my shortcomings, she still loves me; and wants to be by my side.

       I know we'll never agree on EVERYTHING. But one thing is for certain: I love my girlfriend. I love knowing we've been together for 9 months. I love knowing that someday soon (my birthday, hopefully) I'll be able to look her in the eyes... in person... for the first time. Knowing that someday... I'll be next to her as the sun sets. And I'll be able to gaze upon this, the love of my life; and my future.

      

       I Love You Ritz Einne Baladjay Hugo (Christian).

       Happy Birthday, mahal ko

Schristian

  • Visit Schristian's Xanga Site
    • Name: Scott
    • Country: United States
    • State: Pennsylvania
    • Metro: Bethlehem
    • Birthday: 4/12/1985
    • Gender: Male
    • Member Since: 4/29/2004
    • True

About Me

  • I'm diagnosed Bi-Polar I, Autistic (Asperger's Syndrome), and clinically Paranoid with a Schizotypal personality. This leads me to bizarre worlds and encounters. I drink to excess when I can, sleep when possible, and plot the deaths of millions, all in a single breath. I am narcissistic yet humble, cruel yet caring, destructive yet saviour-like. I contradict my contradictions in an effort to make wrongs right. I am friend, foe, lover, murderer, poet and tactless punk. I am living poetry. Enough is said.

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